


Wander the Boundaries

by geneticus



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Gen, POV Second Person, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 18:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6917533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geneticus/pseuds/geneticus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"It's a bitter thing, isn't it?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>But what thing is bitter? You? Your life? Your circumstances?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(all of it)"</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A short fan poem inspired by and based on the fic <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/6481021">"Nothing Like You"</a> by Steamworkblue, which is about teenaged, mentally ill Kylo being sent to live with his uncle Luke in a cabin after a traumatizing experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wander the Boundaries

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Nothing Like You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6481021) by [steamworkBlue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/steamworkBlue/pseuds/steamworkBlue). 



> I do recommend you read Steamworkblue's fic before this, not only because this poem is specifically based on it and makes much more sense in context, but also because it's really good. But if you want to read this poem first you can do that too, and I hope it gets you interested in reading the story that inspired it!

 

 

It's a bitter thing, isn't it?

But what thing is bitter? You? Your life? Your circumstances?

_(all of it)_

 

You're shipped out to live in a forest like some dangerous, unwanted beast from a story. To keep everyone safe from you.

Nobody kept you safe though, did they? _~~From HiM--~~_    

_(the only ones who really tried were your friends)_

 

So yeah, you're a broken mess of sharp and bitter and painful things.

The only difference this makes

is now you'll be a bitter, broken mess _in the woods._

_(yipee!)_

 

So you push your sharp edges, your sarcasm,

your cart of frivolous food.

_(how long until your uncle snaps? he will eventually,_

_adults always do)_

 

But.... he uses your name?

 

He gives you space, and hot cocoa?

He buys you oysters you don't even eat??

He allows your laptop in a restaurant????

 

He's been so good.

 

_(it's not going to last--once he's done congratulating himself_

_for his patience with you, he'll put his foot down,_

_drop the other shoe)_

 

He's being the eccentric uncle. the good cop.

the caretaker.  _(but he doesn't really care for you._

_nobody does, knowing you for long. besides your friends)_

  
Well, he can play his games all he likes.

 

_(you know better than to fall for it._

_your guard has come down before, and_ just look at you)

 

It's all a matter of time.

 

You have little power

over your own life, but you can work some power here.

 

So you use it.

_(you burn with it, you cut with it, and you heal._

_all are their own comforts)_

 

They didn't teach you the pain that lies in healing, did they?

_(they don't tell you it's like fire and ice in your blood;_

_that it's like screaming into a great uncaring world;_

_like tiptoeing around people you  c a n ' t  trust;_

_like aching for friends who are so far away;_

_like standing on a high branch and_ choosing not to fall)

 

No adults have ever told you it would be like this.

Nobody ever taught you how to cope.

But you get by.

_(somehow, and by inches)_

 

Somehow you get up and put on dark t-shirts and music.

Somehow you go downstairs and eat a bowl of cereal.

Somehow you wander through the woods,

and sit alone in your room, and write in a cafe,

and almost manage to act like a normal person

who feels okay.

 

And you only collapse under

the sheer agony of existing in your life

a few times!

 

_(progress!!)_

 

So you wear your scar, your distance, and your pride

in company. And alone, you wear your tattered heart

like the pleats of an old skirt.

 

You'll get through this, somehow, like you always do.

_( ~~or maybe you won't~~ )_

 

But for now, you wander the boundaries of this world

that will be your summer. And you work

with what power you have. And you take

each kindness with an ocean's worth of salt.

 

There's so much you still don't understand.

_(but what you do know is that getting_

_lucky, finding something good, and having it last?_

 

_well, it's really not like you_

_at all.)_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
